Mischieviously Obtained Video

Were it not for sheer necessity my darling children would never have accompanied me to a recent physio therapy appointment.  But the kids were out of school, my husband was working and all of my reliable babysitters were busy being teenagers.  I simply had no choice.

Like any good mother would I devised a plan; a well thought-out attempt at making the outing as painless as possible.  I knew that three things needed to happen before anyone left the house:  1. the kids needed to eat 2. the kids needed to use the washroom and 3. two iPads needed to be fully charged and ready to go.  More importantly, though, I needed the kids to be clear on my expectations of their behavior.

Once we were packed into the truck and on our way, I reiterated how important this appointment was.  I told the kids that I would find a place for them to sit; a place where they could watch me and play on their iPads. I also stressed that they needed to be quiet and respectful of the other clients who would also be there receiving treatments.  It really was the best-laid plan.

Upon arrival at our destination I located my treatment coordinator who said that the kids were more than welcomed to hang out while I worked through my exercises.  So I set the kids up on a workout bench in plain view of me, handed them their electronic devices and stated my expectations AGAIN.  And then I headed for the treadmill.

I only had to put in 10 minutes.  Every 30 seconds, though, I found myself turning around to check that the kids were alright.  And two minutes was all it took for the kids to start ...

“Mom, we’re thirsty.”

“No you’re not,” I said calmly over one shoulder, “you had plenty to drink at home before we left.  If you’re still thirsty your water bottle is beside you.”

“Mom, we’re hungry.”

“No you’re not,” I said, this time in more of a sing-song voice, “you just ate at home before we left.  If you’re still hungry there’s snacks in the bag beside you.”

“Mom, we’re bored.”

Good Lord!  Was this really happening?  And in front of a room full of strangers?  Of course it was!

 

“You’re not bored,” I managed through clenched teeth, “you have your iPads.”

I felt it in my bones – this would be the longest one hour physio session ever! I managed to finish my time on the treadmill and then it was over to the weights.  And just like that it seemed as though the kids had settled in.  When I next turned around to check on them my daughter was holding up her iPad smiling at me and my son’s attention was focused on the man with the prosthetic leg.

I was crouched down adjusting the weights when from behind me I heard someone say, “Excuse me, but your daughter …”

I stood up and looked into the eyes of a woman I knew only as ‘Donna’.  I’d seen her around a few times.  Having heard her speak to others I knew that she was a professional wrestler of sorts.  Her ring name was ‘Donna-Do-You-Wanna?’  Her neatly braided rat’s tail hung mid-way down her back, her body was adorned with tattoos and piercings, and when she smiled I saw teeth the color of my first morning pee.

What could Donna possibly have to say to me about my daughter?  Was she going to say how pretty she was, or that she looked just like me – comments we had heard repeatedly since we’d entered the facility?  No.  Instead what she said was, “Excuse me, but your daughter is videotaping me with her iPad while I’m exercising and it’s really creeping me out.”

Okay – not what I had expected.  It quickly dawned on me, though, that when my daughter had been holding up her iPad and smiling it had not been because of me.  Instead it had been because she was filming!

“Oh that,” I responded casually, “she does that all of the time for her dad.  She’s only supposed to tape the attractive ones, though.  Obviously she made a mistake.  We’ll be sure and delete that immediately.”

Now, do you believe that that is what this mommy really said?  Well, I did not!  Although later that evening when I recounted the incident to my husband, that’s what he said I should have said!

The wisdom that comes with age, and hours of therapy, had taught me that how I responded to my child’s actions was far more important than how I responded to Donna’s reaction and words.  Once-upon-a-time this mommy would have responded out of anger and embarrassment.  I would have fallen over myself to apologize to this stranger and undoubtedly reprimanded my child harshly in a very public forum.  But to what end?  To appease someone who was a stranger to me and in so doing crush my child’s spirit?

“I’m sorry my child’s actions upset you,” was all I said.  “Although her intent was harmless we’ll delete that video immediately.”

On the ride home later that morning I addressed the inappropriateness of using our iPads to tape people we do not know.  And although I would never have given voice to my thoughts, the idea did cross this mommy’s mind that there were far worse ways a girl could make a living than selling mischievously obtained video!

Just sayin’ …