How to Get Paid

There’s this “game” that my husband and five-year-old son play. I think it must be a testosterone-fueled initiation of sorts for boys as I watched my two younger brothers play the same “game” throughout my adolescence. Simply explained two males want the same object (i.e. the last slice of pizza, the remote control, all of dad’s loose change on his nightstand) and then proceed to beat on one another to prevent the other from getting said object. Of course my husband suffers far more abuse than my son ever does and nine times out of ten my son ends up with the prized possession.  

Now hold that thought and cut to this mommy and her kids packed into their truck and headed to a play-date. As it was still quite early in the morning it was no surprise to the kids to find us in the local coffee shop drive-thru. And is almost always the case, I had no cash on me. I was rummaging through my wallet trying to put together the required buck ninety for a large coffee with cream, all the while muttering about how daddy has all of the money and mommy never has any.

From behind me I heard my son say, “If you just lay on daddy you can take his money.”

Out of the mouth of babes I tell you! Of course I knew that Brennen was referencing the “game” that he played with his father, and was suggesting that I hold him down to take the loose change from his nightstand.  That fact, however, did not stop me from laughing at the simple truth of his pronouncement.

“My son,” I said as I rolled up to the drive-thru window, “you are wise beyond your years. When I lay on top of your dad I do get to take his money.”

What more can this mommy say except that it pays when daddy gets laid!